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Hi! We'd Love to Connect.

It’s our mission to help parents find sleep solutions through responsive parenting practices while building connected relationships. We’re passionate about helping families improve sleep without resorting to sleep training.

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I wanted to break this one down today because I ha I wanted to break this one down today because I have been getting a lot of questions about this. 

This is one of the BIGGEST LIES in the sleep world. This idea that leaving your baby to cry is teaching them how to #selfsoothe. That is not how it works! 

The terms was created by Dr.Tom Anders in the 1970s to distinguish babies who signal vs. those who did not. He NEVER said that it was a skill that can be taught, especially by leaving children to cry. Think of it as a difference in temperament vs a skill to be taught. When observing babies in the nursery he noticed some who woke and called out (he called those the signallers) and some who happily went back to sleep on their own (those were the self-soothers). 

When babies are left alone, they do not understand that when you leave, you come back. We are pushing their face into separation (the MOST WOUNDING EXPERIENCE for ALL). They are crying from a place of stress, they have moved up the arousal scale to a state of being flooded and then they shut down. They are alarmed. Dr. Stuart Shanker (who has dedicated his entire career to self-regulation) states, “It’s the brain’s last mechanism for protecting itself from severe energy depletion.” The brain shuts the baby down. 

The baby is not regulating their emotions, they cannot self-regulate (this does not happen until closer to 5 years old) , they #coregulate, meaning that they NEED THE PARENT. 

This is NOT a skill!!! It cannot be trained by leaving babies alone😞 Just because your baby stopped crying, doesn’t mean that they are not in distress. 

Dr. Neufeld explains, “when we push our child’s face into separation (leaving them to cry alone), it alarms them and this can call forth defendedness that can actually put them to sleep out of defence.”

We need to call it what it is so that we can make an INFORMED decision. When we make informed decisions (whether using separation or not - every family will have their own reasons for making these decisions) we will always make the best decision for our family ❤️

You do you ... but please don’t tell parents that they need to teach their baby to self-soothe.

#selfsoothing #selfsoothe #sleeptraining
We had a beautiful discussion about this video tod We had a beautiful discussion about this video today in the @babyledsleepcertification Independent Study course and so I thought I would share it again. The question was about whether we should leave our children alone when they are this upset if they push us away. I love watching the way Dad stays and supports her ... he keeps her safe and he is there when she is ready ❤️

Original post 👇

❤️ from @renegadetherapies 

Please note - This moment was chosen, dad is there and he is present. He is not sitting back and filming while his child is unsupported. He knew this video would really help parents to better understand emotion so that our children don’t have to grow up being told to stop crying, to go to their room, to be put in time out when they share their big feelings ❤️

Love that he gives his child space (notice that she  is pushing him away initially) but staying close. He is calm, and he is there. He slips his hand under her feet to keep her from hurting herself. He then waits for her to come to him - opens his arms and is there ❤️ He waits for the huge emotional release, for all the hurts to come out. He isn’t trying to ‘fix’ it - he is supporting it with so much love and patience. Remember children co-regulate, he is calm. Then when the hurts are released, and she is ready for her hug, dad is right there with the hug that melts my ❤️.

#parenting #parenthood #emotion #toddlerlife #toddler #coregulation
Post by @mama_wilder Wow, wow, wow @mama_wilder Post by @mama_wilder 

Wow, wow, wow @mama_wilder ❤️ This is such a powerful post and reminder ❤️ Thank you ❤️
Posted @withregram • @theholisticsleepmama Babie Posted @withregram • @theholisticsleepmama Babies do not have to learn how to sleep. They know how. Sleep is neurochemical (Zisapel, 2007) not behavioural. 

There are two mechanisms regulating sleep:

1️⃣When, how often, and how long we sleep, is primarily governed by the circadian rhythm, controlled by the master body clock. The main body clock is the Suprachiasmatic Nucleus (SCN) 🧠. This controls all other body clocks both at organ and cellular level. 

2️⃣Homeostatic pressure builds with how much time you spend awake, irrespective of what time of day it is. As infants grow, they are able to stay awake for longer periods of time. The circadian rhythm – your body clock – will keep ticking irrespective of whether you are asleep or awake.

On the subject of biology and neurochemicals, there are two big players when it comes to sleep: 

✨Melatonin is a hormone secreted by the pineal gland in the brain, and although it does not induce sleep, it makes human feel sleepy and improves the quality of sleep (Tan et al, 2016). Melatonin levels will begin to rise in the presence of dim light in the evening and begin to drop during the early hours of the morning with its lowest point during the daytime.

✨The other important circadian rhythm influencing hormone in terms of sleep is cortisol. Cortisol has a number of vital functions within the body. In terms of our body clock, in contrast to melatonin, we experience our highest levels of cortisol in the morning, which is one of the reasons we as adults are able to get up and function more in the morning than the middle of the night, and we have low levels of cortisol at night. When thinking about how children manage their cortisol response, it is important to remember that we have both a circadian cortisol rhythm, as well as our stress response. If children become stressed for whatever reason, they have little ability to self-regulate. 

Sleep trainers tell you the only way babies will sleep is if you teach them independent sleep. Fortunately, biology tells us otherwise 😉

#sleeptraining #nosleeptraining #sleepmyths #brain #neuroscience #infantsleep #normaliseinfantsleep #sleepcoach #sleepconsultant #hormones #melatonin
❤️ from @taylorkulik One of the main issues ❤️ from @taylorkulik 

One of the main issues I have with non-responsive sleep training and why I disagree with it (note that I said I have issues with sleep training, NOT issues with parents who sleep train) is that babies don't need to be trained to sleep. 

Babies have biological needs. These needs include waking at night to feed and for comfort, needing to be near a parent, and often needing support to get to sleep. These are normal and should not be viewed as problems. These needs support a healthy attachment relationship and they help baby feel secure and safe in their new world. These needs help baby to not only survive, but to thrive. 

What are parents doing when they attempt to limit responsiveness in an effort to sleep train their baby? They are NOT training their babies out of these biological needs. The need for a feed, and the need for closeness & comfort do not disappear. Those needs still exist, but when babies are taught that their signals will stop being responded to, they stop signaling. 

If you feel like sleep training is a necessary step for your family and it feels right for you, that is your choice. But I hope that it is an informed choice rather than one made out of fear.

Because the truth is and will always be that babies have needs. Regardless of our busy lifestyles, regardless of us having to work, regardless of limited support systems, babies needs haven't changed over all of these years. Training them doesn't change their biology.

#newmama #ohmother #mynameismama #firsttimemommy #firsttimemama #parentinghacks #parenthoodunplugged #parenthoodunlocked #letthembelittle #nosleeptraining #breastfeedingmama #cosleeping #bedsharing #motherhoodrising
Welcome ❤️My name is Lauren and I am a three-t Welcome ❤️My name is Lauren and I am a three-time certified pediatric sleep specialist (with a focus on ATTACHMENT) and a soon-to-be #ibclc. 

I created this page, this business and the Baby-Led Sleep Approach to help empower parents and remind parents that they know their baby better than any external authority. I am shocked and disappointed by the advice given to parents about sleep, parenting and feeding by 95% of the medical community and the ‘experts’ (it should not surprise you that my thoughts/views on this extend beyond the world of baby sleep). 

I value integrity, transparency, grey area thinking, differences of opinion (and the RESPECTFUL discussion that comes with this). I believe in sharing ALL the information instead of censoring that which makes us uncomfortable. I am not red or blue, liberal or conservative, left or right, pro or anti anything - I am a complex human being and with almost every idea/topic, I prefer to look beyond the black and white and live in the grey ❤️

My goal is to empower parents to tune out the noise and tune into their intuition. I want to remind you that you don’t need ‘research’ or ‘peer-reviewed studies’ to know how to be in a RELATIONSHIP with your child. There is no ‘expert’ in this world that knows your baby better than you do. 

I hope, through sharing information, that we can stop the spread of myths (continuously pushed by most of the medical community - another reminder that YOU not any expert know your baby best ❤️) around sleep and parenting from DATED studies and sleep books that were written in the 80s by physicians who knew nothing about who babies were and what they needed, and who never cared for their own infants. 

My message may be unconventional but I will continue to share because it is important for me to live in my truth. You do not need to agree with everything that I say ❤️but I hope we are here to grow together. 

Although I will be speaking primarily to baby sleep and parenting, much of what I am sharing is transferable to other pieces of life outside parenting ❤️

Welcome to those who are new and hello again to those who have been following along for a while.
Posted @withregram • @thedanishway Our childre Posted @withregram • @thedanishway 

Our children will always love us for who we are, despite shortcomings and inadequacies. We know very well that we are not perfect and make many mistakes - it is inevitable - and that applies to all of us. Parenting is the hardest job of all and the only one for which we are not trained. We learn over time by virtue of being reflective and correcting what we recognize could be done better. Therefore, let your children lean safely on you, even if you stagger and feel insecure. Search inward and feel for what feels right for you. Share your thoughts with other like-minded people, and if you feel like changing something, do not be passive. Small steps still lead to a new place. You are good enough. 
Photo credit @bellebearcom 

#empathy #trust #learningbydoing #beproud #lookforthepositive #lovelovelove #besupportive #motherhood #fatherhood #parentingtips #thedanishway #thedanishwayofparenting #playthedanishway #ibensandahl #ibendissingsandahl #writer #mom
Posted @withregram • @terrademama I don’t ne Posted @withregram • @terrademama 

I don’t need to be told to sleep train my child. I just need to vent how hard these nights can be. 

Give yourself grace if you’re feeling like this. This parenting wasn’t meant to be this hard. ❤️🌙

*If you’re a toddler parent or a parent to an older child, this may resonate with you too. ❤️
Posted @withregram • @jessurlichs_writer Mum, T Posted @withregram • @jessurlichs_writer Mum,

There is so much I didn’t understand back then, but now I do.

I never understood why sometimes you would look at me for the longest time.
Now I know, you were wanting time to stand still.

I never understood why sometimes you would sit with your head in your hands.
Now I understand, you were hiding your tears.

I never understood why you always told me I could do anything.
Now I do, you were the first person who believed in me.

I never understood why I missed you for what felt like days.
Now I understand, you were working around the clock just to keep us afloat.

I never understood why when I was hurt I only wanted you.
Now I do, you’re the safest place I’ve ever known.

I never understood why in so many photos your dressy outfit was always the same.
Now I know, because ours were always different.

I never understood why you cried on my first overseas trip alone.
Now I know, I was yours but never yours to keep.

I never understood why you stayed up at night waiting for me to come home.
Now I know, the worry never stops.

I never understood why you would say, “one day you’ll see”.
I see now, you only wanted what was best for me.

I never understood why sometimes your hugs lasted that little bit longer.
Now I know, you needed one more than me.

I didn’t understand so much back then, but now I do.
I love you.

I understand everything now.

Words: from book ‘From One Mom to a Mother’ link in bio 📖 @jessurlichs_writer and words available on Etsy
Art: @brooklyn_rabbit
❤️ this reminder from @breastfeeding.dietitian ❤️ this reminder from @breastfeeding.dietitian 

You wanted more information about weaning. Well here is a little peek into just how complicated a breastfeeding journey can be... and it’s never linear. Because breastfeeding is MORE THAN FOOD. 

A reminder that if you are looking to night wean, I have an amazing night weaning course through my Instagram shop ❤️

Can anyone else relate to this? Drop a ❤️👇 and tell me where you are at!

#nightweaning #weaning #weaningideas #breastfeeding #breastmilk
Yes, yes, yes 😂. And then we try to recreate Yes, yes, yes 😂. 

And then we try to recreate the EXACT same routine the next night only to get a 40 minute stretch!!!! The next week then consists of obsessing over what we did that one night to get the stretch and why we can't do it again ...

I will leave you with an important reminder... THE ONLY THING THAT IS CONSISTENT ABOUT BABIES IS THAT THEY ARE INCONSISTENT ❤️

It is COMPLETELY NORMAL to have weeks of a four hour stretch and then nights of waking every two hours. It is not because of something you have done/not done. 

Please note - if your baby is waking hourly and it is lasting more than 2 weeks, check out my hourly wakes highlights ❤️. 

#gentleparenting #naturalparenting #nosleeptraining #breastfeedingmama #firsttimemom #newmommy  #islagracesleep #babyledsleep #cosleeping #bedsharing #parentingtips #sleepinglikeababy #breastfeeding #tiredasamother #tiredmama  #babysleep #sleepcoach #sleepcoaching #postpartumjourney #postpartum #sleepconsultant
❤️ from @itwillallbeokay ❤️

Anyone else 😂 

#bedsharing #bedsharingfamily #bedshare #bedsharingmama #bedsharingisnormal #bedshare
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Isla Grace

Using the Baby-Led™ Sleep Approach, Lauren and her team of Worldwide Sleep and Well-Being Specialists help families get more sleep without sleep training through a series of parenting courses and one-on-one coaching

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Isla Grace

Using the Baby-Led™ Sleep Approach, Lauren and her team of Worldwide Sleep and Well-Being Specialists help families get more sleep without sleep training through a series of parenting courses and one-on-one coaching

Pages

  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • Testimonials
  • Become Affiliate
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  • Blog
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  • Become Affiliate
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Baby-Led™ Sleep and Wellbeing Specialists

  • Sleep Coaching with Lauren
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Sleep Courses

  • Parenting Beyond Sleep
  • Toddler Bedtime Battle
  • Sleep without Sleep Training – Basic
  • Sleep without Sleep Training – Premium
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  • Toddler Bedtime Battle
  • Sleep without Sleep Training – Basic
  • Sleep without Sleep Training – Premium

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