We have unrealistic expectations about sleep in the first year of life. This is probably the number one reason parents feel the need to sleep train. We expect that a baby can sleep through the night, they should be able to sleep in their own room, we will continue to be intimate with our partners, we will have our evenings to ourselves to relax, we will be able to maintain a clean home and cook wonderful dinners, and that we will be able to get out with friends because we won’t need to work the next day.
The reality? You may have a baby waking up at night, even after one year of age. You may have a higher needs baby that never wants to be put down. You may be too tired for intimacy, or may be all touched out. You will likely barely have time to clean the house, let alone make an elaborate meal. Getting out with friends may also feel like too big of a task, and you may end up feeling isolated.
What we don’t want is for you to feel like a failure. What we do want is for you to know what is normal in the first year after having a baby. This does not mean that you have to make changes – because you can always make changes down the road. Fortunately, your baby is likely already doing what they should be doing – or something close!
Ready for personalized support through your baby’s first year? Join our FREE email course: Empowering HER Through the First Year of Motherhood and get week-by-week guidance, expert tips, and community support based on your baby’s exact age – no sleep training required.
Baby sleep doesn’t follow a straight path from “bad” to “good.” Your baby might sleep longer stretches one week, only to wake more frequently the next. This isn’t regression – it’s normal development. Sleep patterns ebb and flow with growth spurts, developmental leaps, and your baby’s changing needs.
The biggest gift you can give yourself is letting go of the idea that babies should sleep through the night by a certain age. Some babies will, many won’t, and both are completely normal. Your baby’s sleep patterns are not a reflection of your parenting skills.
Want to understand what’s truly normal for your baby’s sleep? Download our FREE Sleep Schedules and Wake Windows guide to see age-appropriate expectations and create realistic routines that work with your baby’s development.
In the first month, it is NORMAL to have a baby who:
Your newborn spent nine months in the warmth and constant motion of your womb. The outside world is overwhelming! Contact sleep provides the comfort, warmth, and security they need to feel safe enough to rest.
Is your baby only napping on you? That’s completely normal! Download our FREE Contact Napping guide to understand why babies prefer contact sleep and how to gradually transition if desired.
For you, it’s normal to:
What You Can Do:
Need support getting better rest as a new parent? Download our FREE “Maximizing Sleep in Motherhood” guide to learn practical strategies for achieving at least one 5-hour stretch of sleep while respecting your baby’s normal sleep patterns.
During months 2-3, it is NORMAL to:
Your baby will go through a growth spurt at 3 months and eat, eat, eat!
What You Can Do:
At month 4, it is NORMAL to:
Struggling with the 4-month changes? Download our FREE “Surviving the 4-Month Sleep Regression” guide to understand what’s happening developmentally and get attachment-focused strategies to support your baby through this normal transition.
What you can do:
During months 5/6/7, it is NORMAL to:
DO NOT feed solids earlier than 6 months (the WHO recommendation). There is no research to support it leads to better sleep and can have the opposite impact.
Dealing with the 6-month sleep changes? Get our FREE “All About the Six Month Sleep Progression” guide to understand what’s happening developmentally and how to support your baby through rolling, sitting, and growth spurts.
What You Can Do:
Is your baby taking short 20-30 minute naps? Download our FREE “Is Your Baby a Cat Napper?” guide to understand why some babies are natural short nappers and get gentle strategies for extending naps if desired.
From months 8-12, it is NORMAL to:
What you can do:
Navigating nap transitions as your baby grows? Download our FREE “Nap Transitions” guide to learn the signs of readiness and get both baby-led and parent-led solutions for smooth transitions.
Going back to work and worried about how it will affect your baby’s sleep? Get our FREE “Going Back to Work” guide for strategies to prepare emotionally, manage increased night wakings, and maintain strong bonds through the transition.
Keep an eye on your mental health throughout this journey. The baby blues are common in the first few weeks, but if you’re feeling persistently sad, anxious, or overwhelmed, speak to your doctor. You deserve support.
Remember: it really does take a village. Don’t be afraid to:
Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate. Find 2-3 small things you can do daily that make you feel good – even if it’s just a hot cup of coffee or a 5-minute shower alone.
Struggling with big emotions during this challenging time? Our Understanding Emotion Course helps parents who didn’t have emotional support in their own childhoods learn to support their children’s big feelings – and process their own.
Every baby is different. Your friend’s baby might sleep through the night at 3 months, while yours wakes every 2 hours at 9 months. Both are normal. Focus on what works for YOUR family.
You can always make changes down the road if needed, but for now, know that your baby is likely already doing what they should be doing – or something close! This phase is temporary, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Ready for comprehensive support that honors your baby’s needs while helping your family get better rest? Our Sleep Without Sleep Training Course provides 44 modules of expert-backed strategies that work WITH your baby’s development. Over 1,000 families have transformed their sleep using these attachment-focused methods.
The first year of your baby’s life is intense, exhausting, and overwhelming. It’s also temporary. Your baby won’t wake every 2 hours forever. They won’t need to sleep on you forever. You will sleep again.
What matters most is that you and your baby are supported, loved, and doing your best. That’s more than enough.
Want validation that your approach is normal and healthy? Read “Your Baby’s Sleep is Normal and You Are an Amazing Parent” – the book that validates what your instincts are telling you and builds confidence in your parenting choices.
If this content resonates with you and you’re passionate about helping other families navigate sleep without sleep training, consider joining our Baby-Led Sleep and Well-Being Specialist Certification. We’ve trained 600+ professionals worldwide in our attachment-focused approach that gets the same results as sleep training – without using separation.
🌟 Start Your Journey: Join our FREE email course for personalized week-by-week support through your baby’s first year
📚 Deepen Your Understanding: Explore our collection of FREE guides for every stage and challenge
🎯 Get Comprehensive Support: Our courses provide everything you need to support your baby’s sleep while maintaining attachment
💝 Validate Your Instincts: Read our book that reminds you – you ARE the expert on your baby
Your baby’s sleep is normal. You are an amazing parent. And you’re not alone on this journey.
